UPDATE: Naked Hitchhiker Freaky Deak

"Oh buoy do we have some explaining to do"

The Naked Hitchhiker Freaky Deak is now in Jack's cottage in Oak Bluffs naked on her sofa. He's like Goldilocks as he's spread his wild oats on every last piece of furniture trying to deak out the seat that's just right. Deak just asked for a tick check but not sure we should oblige.

So maybe we were slightly duped by his alibi of needing to get to Oak Bluffs to see his uncle or maybe it was the succulent fried seafood dinner at the Galley he bought us tonight that did us in. And we're certainly not blinded by celebrity but as it turns out, he's a well known deak! After din a middle-aged buttoned up aesthetic bore of a woman walked up to him and instead of the expected deak out for smoking on the beach, she shrieked not deaked with excitement over the fact that he found his shoes. Apparently she recently picked him up naked in the middle of the night when he was tripping on shrooms. My question is, where the hell was Boring Betty going at that time of night? Do we have a Freaky Deaka (feminine verbage) on our hands?

So since we've gotten back to the house we've tried to cloth Deak in case of visitors, angling for Dar's booty shorts to give him the least amount of fabric possible to no avail. Restriction seems to be his affliction. Currently Dar is passed out on floor and Deak is  giving her a foot massage.

 

It's going to take a wholesale club quantity of Lysol to disinfect this place, specifically the tan leather couch, from his natural man juice excretions for Jack's grandma's arrival tomorrow.