Oh boyyyyyyy what a week! And when I say boy, I don't mean an underage intern who has been inappropriately subjected to the predatory actions of multiple public servants. But if you swap out the sex, age, and profession of the victim and keep the assailants in tact, you might know where I'm headed...
Just when I thought the Old Senator Freaky Deak fulfilled my bi-yearly Massachusetts State Deakitician quota, I had a run-in with the Young Senator Freaky Deak last night in Newport. Okay, he's a State Rep, but for the sake of uniformity let's call him a senator. So Dar and I are on a business of pleasure trip in R.I. and as we're grabbing sustenance outside at the Black Pearl on the wharf, enjoying one of the last mild nights of fall in New England, Young Senator Freaky Deak and his equally deaky brother encroach upon our table.
Deakitician claims to be playing deakman for his unattached brother who has seemingly taken a liking to Dar. He assures me he is a happily married man who has a beautiful wife and newborn. To prove his devotion, he pulls out a photo of his baby, and talks incessantly about his family. The Brothers Deak insist on ordering up drinks for us, even though we were fully stocked, or more accurately stalked. We talk a little bit of this, a little bit of that, and before you know it, Deak wants me to run the young professional component of his re-election campaign. Considering I could potentially get paid to throw parties, I oblige and give him my number.
Meanwhile brother Deak is all up in Dar's personal space, and next thing you know, Young Senator Deak's hand is caressing my shoulder. I push him off and Dar and I discreetly signal to each other that things have taken an iffy turn. To reverse the inadvertent date scenario, I suggest that we transition over to the bar.
But the bar only seems to exacerbate the situation as now that we're standing up, he can put a firm hold on my waist. He plays innocent and tells me he is only being touchy to make all other guys in the bar jealous. But when Deak starts doing the shimmy into my chest and then face, and asks to come back to our hotel for a nightcap, I realize it's time to deakpart.
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