HOT 97.5 FM Freaky Deak (FACEBOOK)

"Freaky Deakeo killed the radio star"

This is Deejay Mel and the Deaktractors spinning the latest "Meet and Deak" mix on Deak Radio 2.0 and HOT 97.5 FM Freaky Deak grabs the number 1 spot on today's Deakshow countdown. Enjoy the stalkery rhythms and calculating cadences of the HOT 97.5 FM Freaky Deak.

As you probably ascertained, I'm trying to get on the same wavelength of HOT 97.5 FM Freaky Deak, in order to understand what jarring frequency he's on. So a couple weeks ago, Dar and I are out for a friend's bday at a Boston club usually not travelled by us, when we happened upon a little contest for a Mercedes, being hosted on air by HOT 97.5 FM Freaky Deak.

The forthcoming deejay scenario would have been completely averted if Dar listened to me tell her that the Mercedes up for grabs looked like an impounded drug trafficking vehicle featured on one of those police auction commercials that just happened to have a Mercedes hood charm strapped to the front. But we're not ones to live in the rearview mirror, shitbox or not, so what's deak is done and done is deak.

We scribble our names down on the sign-up sheet and next thing you know, we are on air with HOT 97.5 FM Deak, rolling dice for rustbucket. He tells us that if you roll "HOT 97.5" in that order you will become the proud owner of an arrest warrant, I mean luxury vehicle. Luck be my lady Dar and she rolls "HOT" which apparently equals absolutely nothing but she somehow manages to swindle him for a $200 gift certificate to the bar. I roll "MJ4E" on my turn, and apathetically convince Deak-jay that it stands for "Michael Jackson Forever," and collect a not too shabby $100. Clearly the prospect of becoming on air personalities pales in comparison to our Create Our Own Consolation Prize and we depart for more thirst quenching pastures.

While the high cost of drinks did put a limit on the $300, let's see that's about 8 drinks each, minus spillage, drink gifting to friends, and the obligatory roofied throwaway, you still might be Creating Your Own Conclusion on what deakveloped. But the only grease we took home with us that night was an XL pizza, hold the deak.

And thus, when Dar received HOT 97.5 FM Freaky Deak's Facebook message a few days ago, we had to put the events on replay and deakpeat, in order to even recall this character. I guess for Deak-jay, chatting on air constituted genuine conversation:

There's dead air right now...